his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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