That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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