is your mom at the bar?
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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