You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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