We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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