New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Randomize
