my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
