He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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