She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
