btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
