Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
