im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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