Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
