Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the raccoons are back...
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