she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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