and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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