Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
