That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
