I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
