Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
