PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
