If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
