I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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