I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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