redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
