I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
