oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
