you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
