I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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