..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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