There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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