i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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