i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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