Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You need Xanax blowdarts
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
