Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
