How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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