Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
