you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish you could order shots online.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize