Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
