Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dick very happy bro
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
