hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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