Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize