Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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