Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
