Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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