Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
