sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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