We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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