At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
