So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
