My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
