So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
