i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And then my night got REAL pukey
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
