There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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