I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
