God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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