Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
