Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
