and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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