be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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