I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
