Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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