I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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