I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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