Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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