Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize