Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
