4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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