it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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