I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
