soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
