You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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