Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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