found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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