I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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