Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Its about making memories worth repressing
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
