can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
